a deep breath and a leap & jenny’s top 8 no. 13 MAUI
“I am not a courageous person by nature. I have simply discovered that, at certain key moments in this life, you must find courage in yourself, in order to move forward and live. It is like a muscle and it must be exercised, first a little, and then more and more. All the really exciting things possible during the course of a lifetime require a little more courage than we currently have. A deep breath and a leap.” John Patrick Shanley
For many decades of my life I had this quote tacked up to a bulletin board over my many desks. Where I went, this quote went. I used to say the last sentence to myself like a mantra, Jenny, a deep breath and a leap. It’s part of the intro from Shanley’s book, 13 by Shanley. I think I need to start saying it again.
I heard a man speak about TIME this morning. After my mom died I added up the days that I had a mom, it was 14,000 and something, and it suddenly seemed like no time at all. If I had a dollar for everyday I had an alive mom I couldn’t even buy a new economy car. I wanted more time. When she died all I could think, was please, please gimme a re-do. I wanna do it all over again!
I looked at the calendar on my phone today and saw an invitation that my baby girl cousin sent me for September 23rd. It is the 18 year anniversary of my aunt dying. It says an invitation to remember. On the 5th it’ll be 8 years without my mom. Do not get me started on 8’s right now; I’m going hard on this biblical resurrection year. So, I am offering you an invitation to remember, that time is limited. If I am lucky, I have about 15,000 days left, that is if I live until 89, and honestly, that’s not likely, but it’s also not up to me. That overused, oversaturated Mary Oliver quote is real, Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
What do you want to do? I’m actually asking you. What do you want to do?
Because you are allowed to do it. You are allowed to shoot for the stars. So much of my response to grief at 29, when I started losing what mattered most to me was to stop dreaming. I guess I thought if nothing really mattered to me that it wouldn’t hurt so much to lose; I gave into my defenses. But my spirit is strong and god bless her sweet aching longing wanting soul, she pulled me back. I have a dream now, and I am willing to work for it, to fight for it.
The same is true of my life, this is my life, my one life. Has it broken my heart? Sure. Has it filled my heart to the absolute brim of happiness? Sure, most days actually. Most days I can find at least one thing to fall in love with. A healthy heart, a healthy nervous system is one that can ride the waves of experience, and come back to itself.
I am not a courageous person by nature, but my life is worth a deep breath and a leap, and so is yours.
What do you want to do? What do you really want?
I love you,
Jenny
Jenny Top 8 no. 13 MAUI
Well. If a place could save your life and give you second chances, my place would be Maui. I love it so much. I can’t do a top 8 for Kauai and not MAUI!!!!!
Searching for beauty in the world is a way to balance our nervous systems. Experiencing beauty has a calming effect and produces dopamine in our brains. Beauty is also a signal to the nervous system that we are okay, that it can take the time to settle, to calm down. Think about it, if a tiger is coming at you with teeth bared, you aren’t gonna be like, OMG what a gorgeous creature, oh, so powerful; you are going to go into a survival response. Beauty is practice in regulation.
So please enjoy some of the beautiful people and things that I love on Maui.
CARAMIYA We are all so blessed that the universe forced Caramiya to open a new shop in Makawao. I was already having withdrawals after she closed her Wailuku location to see what the universe had in store for her… pun not intended!! I got to be on Maui for the grand opening of the new spot and man has she done it again. I am lucky to call her my friend, and I am in constant awe of the up-cycled one of a kind masterpieces that she creates. She also does painting, jewelry, socks; she does EVERYTHING! Go to the shop or follow her on the gram for so much special it’s crazy pants!
The treasures of Sigal Jewels! I have been collecting hearts, and talismans of LOVE from Sigal for the past several years. I can spend HOURS looking at her pieces, because just when you think you’ve noticed all the beauty laid out before you, there’s more! Also she is a sparkling gem and you’d be lucky to chat with her. DM to find her location!
Conscious Dance with Tamara Catz. Tamara Catz used to have a store on the Hana Highway in Paia when I first went to Maui. I am wearing a dress she made in one of my favorite pictures of myself. My dad used to have it on his mirror! When I saw she was offering Conscious Dance at Lumeria Maui I was so excited and star struck! This is one of my favorite hours on Maui, letting my body do whatever it wants and needs to the sweet and steady guidance of Tamara. I have found this practice to be nothing but sneaky powerful! AND SO FUN! But fun is also sneaky powerful!
HAKU MAUI I have had the honor of making lei two times at Haku Maui. I love the lei making workshops. Britney is an excellent teacher. It is the most beautiful feeling to take part in this tradition and put my feeling and intention into the lei. I made the last one before a personal anniversary and ultimately sent it into the ocean on Kauai with one of my best friends. But also the lei’s she makes are really where it’s at!
Chelsea Kinch Okay. I am going to try and control myself here. I love almost nothing more than stumbling upon a piece of art that stops me in my tracks, and this is exactly what happened to me last week on Maui. I went into a shop, and could only focus on the painting. I don’t really know why some pieces of art stop us, and others we can walk right by. I suspect it’s because we resonate with the movement of feelings, body, words, hopes and hurts and spirit that have been imprinted in them in the making. Or we just like them, and who cares why! Either way, I absolutely lost it when I figured out who did the painting, and looked up her work. I found myself smiling later that day, and I realized it was because I was thinking about those paintings!!! So Chelsea Kinch’s work is my most favorite new obsession.
The Products of Ho’omana Spa. Okay. These are my all time favorite products. I hate being without them, and I sometimes have to call and have them shipped to me. This is my order when I am out… 1 Ti Rose Mist, 1 Lemongrass Mist, 1 Sandlewood Mist, and 1 Lavender Mist. I keep these in the living room and I spray myself basically every time I walk by (see beauty as a regulation technique!) 1 kukui nut body butter, and sometimes a lemongrass as well, and 2 lemongrass body polish, because I cannot stand to be without that. I mean I can, but why? Also excellent Lomi Lomi and the marble tubs are off the hook, just FYI.
The Original Natalie King. I met Natalie almost twenty years ago when she was selling her timeless pieces outside The Westin. We became fast friends. She taught me the basics of how to make jewelry. I was so happy to re-connect with her when I reconnected with Maui. Natalie makes classic pearls with a modern twist. Her silver rope pearl bracelets and necklaces are some of my most nostalgic and favorite pieces. You can always find her work at The Ritz Kapalua.
Aloha Heals I met Amy by chance on my first trip back to Maui. She is also a painter, and I am staring at a beautiful painting of hers that sits above my desk for years now. It has crystals painted into it and I feel lost without it. BUT, she also created Aloha Heals, a Hawaiian natural skincare line. Both Face toners, Island Citrus and BLOOM are 100%. I am also flying through my bottle of Plumeria & Pink Lotus Body Oil. The smells are divine, and addictive! Find her every Tuesday morning at the Wailea Market and online!
Sorry for all the gushing today, but there are so many gush worthy things!! oh, and go get a massage from Brooke at Apres Surf Maui, she has magic hands.
