CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

Hello from Kauai. This week you get to choose your own adventure. What do you need this week? Let’s get started.

door no. one  

GENTLENESS

I have been here before, in April to be exact. Except this time I vowed to do it differently. I vowed to actually take my own advice, and be gentle with the creative process. I don’t think I’m gentle by nature, maybe some people are, but I am not one of them. I work so hard to be soft, but I am more of a Kandinsky painting then a Monet. I arrived on Kauai on Tuesday. I have come back to write. I have since remembered that I only ever had two goals for this book, to be as honest as I know how to be, and to finish it. Maybe it’s a piece of shit or maybe only I like it sometimes, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’m writing it to save my life, that’s the point.

So here’s what I did. Well. First I remembered about the intention. Second, I arrived at the little studio I stay in and I said, okay psyche see what’s going to happen this week, we are going to be writing about something hard, but while you adjust to that idea, let’s go have some fun and we can start tomorrow. There was no, you sepnt xyz on that ticket, you are a failure if it isn’t done by xyz. I have tried that in all areas of my life and let me tell you that experiment has actually never worked out that well; it left me feeling not good enough and out of alignment with my self and the universe, and because that’s where the creative force lives, FRUSTRATED and not that productive!

And guess what? I woke up my first morning with the roosters and I got to work, and my defensive structure let me go to difficult scary places because it trusted me more!! I could relax, because I wasn’t waiting for someone to attack me (ME), and when I am relaxed I am in more flow.

When did we all buy into the lie that we would only get stuff done if we treated ourselves like little bullys?

So, do you need any gentleness this week? Where? Are you being hard on yourself when you actually need your tenderness? Just asking.

door no. two

HONESTY

I love working as a creative coach. I love talking with anyone creating anything, about their process, ideas, fears, patterns, daily practices, ego, everything! I love that I am allowed access to such beauty, to witness the actual immaterial soul energy made material. So let me tell you a secret… the key code to every closed door in the creative process is HONESTY. Now we can’t always be honest alone because we get all kinds a tangled up in our own psyches, but we can always start.

When I am staring at a computer screen and I have no idea what words to type first I will often write exactly how I’m feeling and go from there. Honesty, like all things, is a muscle that we must exercise to make it strong. I am talking about self honesty TBC. I’m not talking about telling Barbara at work that you think her shoes suck.

And why do we all think that honesty is only “bad things” about ourselves and our lives? It is also honest to acknowledge everything in your life that lights you up.

So. Do you need to do some Honesty Push Ups with yourself this week?

Write down 10 HONEST THINGS. You got more? Keep going! Don’t let me hold you back.

door no. three

PRAYER

My friend Glenn recently recommended I read the book Stone Yard Devotional by Charlotte Wood. It’s a beautiful book about loss and the past, and how we choose to move forward. A woman who is not a particularly god driven woman moves into a  convent in rural Australia. There is a part about prayer that stayed with me. The head nun, if that’s what they’re called, says. and I paraphrase 100%, Prayer is not a direct telephone line to God to order your wishes, but a focused attention, a way to change our neural pathways by singular focused attention. I liked this. Maybe some days I believe that something greater than myself can hear me, but all days I believe in neuroscience.

I found this prayer this morning. I wrote it in the year after my mother died. I have been writing an essay about that year and I am reminded of how every day was a search for my shape in the world without her.

Do you want to write your own prayer this week? Then write it. Try.

GOOD MORNING PRAYER

Good morning soul. Please stay in my body today and lead the way. I want you to be in charge today because I think you are so smart!

Good morning neocortex. Thank you for telling me what you want and what you’re afraid of. Soul is going to take care of us today. I promise!

Good morning body. You are doing such a good job. Thank you for always supporting my life journey, my heart, my intuition, my light, and my energy. You are a powerhouse! I love you so much!

Good morning Bunny Ducks. I love you so so much! I think you are a gift to this world. Everything I do is for you. You are bright and lovable and shiny. I am so proud of you Always!

Good morning mom. I love you. Thank you for my wisdom, my powers, and my beautiful life.

Good morning Dad. I love you. Thank you for my joy and play and my heart.

Good morning grief. You are real and I know that if I follow you you will take me to the base of a brand new rainbow. I see how powerful and brilliant you are. You are doing a really good job at a very hard job.

Good morning intuition. I will do my best to listen to you today and I will tell you when I’m not ready to take action. I hear you and sometimes I’m not quite ready. I’m not ignoring you.

Good morning Angels and guides of blessings and light! I accept and desire your help. Please help me to trust in your nurturing, care and support. Please show yourself in my life today. Please show off today!

Good morning dreams. I know you are just waiting for me to enter.

Good morning Universe. I love you so much. Thank you for the daily blessings and miracles and magic and love and constant support.

Good morning Jenny. I’m so happy I get to spend my whole life with you. You are my favorite person I’ve ever met.

Universe. Please guide me today to bring more love into my life and the lives of everyone I encounter. Please help me to help people love themselves, believe in themselves, open their hearts and find their purpose. When we find our heart purpose we can be of service to the world.

I approve of myself. I love myself. I am safe now. I am powerful. I am willing to change. I am willing to let go with love and ease that which no longer serves my highest good.

Thank you for my blessings. I love you!

door no. four

FUN

see jenny top 8 no. 12 KAUAI

Art by Pegge Hopper